Lemming pie for a hot day

I love lemming pies on a hot day so I’m going to reveal my secret recipe.

First off we’ve got to make the dough.

1. Get a really big bowl.
2. Pour about twenty cups of milk into the bowl.
3. Pour about eight cups of flour into the bowl.
4. Put in one dab of sugar.
5. Put in eighteen dabs of salt.
6. Put in 300.5 dabs of hot sauce.
7. Mix everything together for 15.75 minutes. If you’re near sea level do it for an hour and a half longer.

Now for the main ingredient. Get six large lemmings and 4 small lemmings. Pour the batter into a really large pie pan.

Now put the lemmings in the pie pan and put everything into the oven for five minutes with the temperature at 0 degrees.

After five minutes take the pie out and and put it beside the swimming pool. Then say in a loud voice, “Alright, you lemming pie, that there is a big cliff.” When the pie hears you it will think the side of the pool is a big cliff and go over it. Then you follow.

If you get tired of swimming with the pie, say in a loud voice, “Alright, you lemming pie, it’ll cost you five bucks to swim in this here pool.” When the pie hears you it will scamper out of the pool like hookers at a James Dobson rally.

2 Comments so far

  1. The Pieman (unregistered) on May 25th, 2005 @ 10:16 am

    How’s this Portland related?

  2. John Hays (unregistered) on May 25th, 2005 @ 12:12 pm

    According to weather forecasters the Portland area is going to have some hot days for the first time in months. I suppose I could have entitled the post “Lemming pie for the first hot days in Portland in months”.

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