Comments on: Stranger Etiquette http://portland.metblogs.com/2005/09/29/stranger-etiquette/ Fri, 16 Oct 2009 01:46:32 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: Banana Lee Fishbones http://portland.metblogs.com/2005/09/29/stranger-etiquette/comment-page-1/#comment-1133 Banana Lee Fishbones Fri, 30 Sep 2005 22:15:23 +0000 http://portland.metblogs.com/2005/09/29/stranger-etiquette/#comment-1133 I'm convinced they are the same bunch of people, Betsy! Also I'm with your daughter, I make sure the driver can hear me so I am doing my part to counteract the scowlers and the antsy door people. I’m convinced they are the same bunch of people, Betsy!

Also I’m with your daughter, I make sure the driver can hear me so I am doing my part to counteract the scowlers and the antsy door people.

]]> By: Betsy http://portland.metblogs.com/2005/09/29/stranger-etiquette/comment-page-1/#comment-1132 Betsy Fri, 30 Sep 2005 22:11:02 +0000 http://portland.metblogs.com/2005/09/29/stranger-etiquette/#comment-1132 This reminds me about bus etiquette - maybe that's a different thread, but here goes anyway. I love the fact that most people say 'thank you' when they exit the bus (my daughter yells it loudly when we're leaving via the back door to make sure it's heard, heh.) But then you watch the people who scowl at the bus driver as they leave, or get pissy if the back door exit isn't immediately enabled. Related to the non-smilers? I wonder... This reminds me about bus etiquette – maybe that’s a different thread, but here goes anyway.

I love the fact that most people say ‘thank you’ when they exit the bus (my daughter yells it loudly when we’re leaving via the back door to make sure it’s heard, heh.) But then you watch the people who scowl at the bus driver as they leave, or get pissy if the back door exit isn’t immediately enabled.

Related to the non-smilers? I wonder…

]]> By: Banana Lee Fishbones http://portland.metblogs.com/2005/09/29/stranger-etiquette/comment-page-1/#comment-1131 Banana Lee Fishbones Fri, 30 Sep 2005 19:15:13 +0000 http://portland.metblogs.com/2005/09/29/stranger-etiquette/#comment-1131 Kai: I don't presume for a moment to think it's all about me. I was walking and noticed that HE was looking at ME so I smiled. He scowled. If he is so unhappy about seeing me or being reminded of what I represent, then (here's a revolutionary idea, get ready) perhaps he should STOP FUCKING LOOKING AT ME. I'm not taking anyone seriously. As evidenced by the fact that there was no angst in my words, and hopefully not in my tone. Mostly I was just surprised. In all my walking in Portland-granted a lot of it hasn't been downtown-I have never encountered anything like that before. Like I said up there, a vast majority gave at least a half-hearted effort to smile back. I've had total strangers say hello, or Merry Christmas, and on one occasion I was even cheerfully told to fuck off (no I wasn't smiling at them) just in the course of walking down the street. I think it's causing you way more angst than me, Kai. (: I really didn't think this would cause the discussion it did, holy crap! Kai:

I don’t presume for a moment to think it’s all about me. I was walking and noticed that HE was looking at ME so I smiled. He scowled. If he is so unhappy about seeing me or being reminded of what I represent, then (here’s a revolutionary idea, get ready) perhaps he should STOP FUCKING LOOKING AT ME.

I’m not taking anyone seriously. As evidenced by the fact that there was no angst in my words, and hopefully not in my tone. Mostly I was just surprised. In all my walking in Portland-granted a lot of it hasn’t been downtown-I have never encountered anything like that before. Like I said up there, a vast majority gave at least a half-hearted effort to smile back. I’ve had total strangers say hello, or Merry Christmas, and on one occasion I was even cheerfully told to fuck off (no I wasn’t smiling at them) just in the course of walking down the street.

I think it’s causing you way more angst than me, Kai. (:

I really didn’t think this would cause the discussion it did, holy crap!

]]> By: Zephyr http://portland.metblogs.com/2005/09/29/stranger-etiquette/comment-page-1/#comment-1130 Zephyr Fri, 30 Sep 2005 18:45:58 +0000 http://portland.metblogs.com/2005/09/29/stranger-etiquette/#comment-1130 No, it's not her problem, Kai. One has to be conscientious to invest in one's community, to buoy it... to keep people to social, archictectural, and other standards. I certainly don't want to live in a community where people are going to scowl when they walk by. That's why I've chosen to move away from the pacific northwest cities to a beautiful tourist community. In a small town, we have the locus of control in our own hands, to change our community. Although, I must admit - portland is still my favorite metropolis. The downtown, is much friendlier, than say where I grew up - in Seattle. No, it’s not her problem, Kai. One has to be
conscientious to invest in one’s community, to buoy
it… to keep people to social, archictectural,
and other standards. I certainly don’t want to
live in a community where people are going to
scowl when they walk by. That’s why I’ve chosen to
move away from the pacific northwest cities to a
beautiful tourist community. In a small town, we
have the locus of control in our own hands, to
change our community. Although, I must admit –
portland is still my favorite metropolis. The
downtown, is much friendlier, than say where I
grew up – in Seattle.

]]> By: Kai Jones http://portland.metblogs.com/2005/09/29/stranger-etiquette/comment-page-1/#comment-1129 Kai Jones Fri, 30 Sep 2005 17:53:45 +0000 http://portland.metblogs.com/2005/09/29/stranger-etiquette/#comment-1129 Maybe you could consider that it's not all about you, Banana. Maybe he scowled because of a thought or memory unrelated to the fact that his face might have been pointed your way. Maybe you look like his ex-girlfriend, or the teacher who failed him for cheating. Maybe you're just taking yourself way too seriously here. Additionally, if J. Random Stranger's failure to smile back causes you this much angst, maybe you have bigger problems. Maybe you could consider that it’s not all about you, Banana. Maybe he scowled because of a thought or memory unrelated to the fact that his face might have been pointed your way. Maybe you look like his ex-girlfriend, or the teacher who failed him for cheating.

Maybe you’re just taking yourself way too seriously here. Additionally, if J. Random Stranger’s failure to smile back causes you this much angst, maybe you have bigger problems.

]]> By: Banana Lee Fishbones http://portland.metblogs.com/2005/09/29/stranger-etiquette/comment-page-1/#comment-1128 Banana Lee Fishbones Fri, 30 Sep 2005 15:07:47 +0000 http://portland.metblogs.com/2005/09/29/stranger-etiquette/#comment-1128 mnology: Devil's Advocate, very nice. However, I didn't mean someone who was walking by scowling. Someone was walking by me and made eye contact. I smiled, they scowled. It's really the fact that someone went out of their way to scowl that confuses me. If you ignore me that's totally ok and kind of expected, honestly. I don't care if you don't smile back, but to go out of your way to frown at me? Thanks. The important thing here is that for every scowly jackass I got at least one grin (if not full-on smile) back, so in the end I came out ahead. (: mnology:

Devil’s Advocate, very nice. However, I didn’t mean someone who was walking by scowling. Someone was walking by me and made eye contact. I smiled, they scowled. It’s really the fact that someone went out of their way to scowl that confuses me. If you ignore me that’s totally ok and kind of expected, honestly. I don’t care if you don’t smile back, but to go out of your way to frown at me? Thanks.

The important thing here is that for every scowly jackass I got at least one grin (if not full-on smile) back, so in the end I came out ahead. (:

]]> By: mnology http://portland.metblogs.com/2005/09/29/stranger-etiquette/comment-page-1/#comment-1127 mnology Fri, 30 Sep 2005 14:25:52 +0000 http://portland.metblogs.com/2005/09/29/stranger-etiquette/#comment-1127 Conversely: Dear people smiling at me in downtown. I'm busy. Your self-serving attempt at affecting someone elses life has backfired. Not only did you not make me smile, you've also concerned yourself _way too much_ with some random person on the street. If I'm wearing a tie and scowling, it's because I've got more on my mind than the thousands of nameless faces I pass by. Perhaps next time. When I'm wearing a T-shirt and jeans. But not when my ass is on the line. (Devils Advocate & what not) Conversely:
Dear people smiling at me in downtown. I’m busy. Your self-serving attempt at affecting someone elses life has backfired. Not only did you not make me smile, you’ve also concerned yourself _way too much_ with some random person on the street. If I’m wearing a tie and scowling, it’s because I’ve got more on my mind than the thousands of nameless faces I pass by.

Perhaps next time. When I’m wearing a T-shirt and jeans. But not when my ass is on the line.

(Devils Advocate & what not)

]]> By: dieselboi http://portland.metblogs.com/2005/09/29/stranger-etiquette/comment-page-1/#comment-1126 dieselboi Fri, 30 Sep 2005 13:37:57 +0000 http://portland.metblogs.com/2005/09/29/stranger-etiquette/#comment-1126 i smile at everyone unless i'm in a funk. sometimes people smile back, sometimes they don't. i just home my smile brightens someone's day. add in please and thankyou and you may get a free cup of coffee. i smile at everyone unless i’m in a funk. sometimes people smile back, sometimes they don’t. i just home my smile brightens someone’s day.

add in please and thankyou and you may get a free cup of coffee.

]]> By: Zephyr http://portland.metblogs.com/2005/09/29/stranger-etiquette/comment-page-1/#comment-1125 Zephyr Fri, 30 Sep 2005 03:51:25 +0000 http://portland.metblogs.com/2005/09/29/stranger-etiquette/#comment-1125 It's true... it's interesting how affection is thought of by different people in different contexts. Our society has so much misandry, that men sometimes decide that it's best to be cool towards women of all ages, rather than warm. You know how those who call themselves "feminists" will always go off in their hyperbole and say that a man's affection is something that represents a selfishness in him. It's unfortunate that men come to believe this. I'm encouraged that you are seeking to change this, in your city. It’s true… it’s interesting how affection is
thought of by different people in different
contexts. Our society has so much misandry, that
men sometimes decide that it’s best to be cool
towards women of all ages, rather than warm. You
know how those who call themselves “feminists”
will always go off in their hyperbole and say that
a man’s affection is something that represents a
selfishness in him. It’s unfortunate that men come
to believe this. I’m encouraged that you are
seeking to change this, in your city.

]]> By: Banana Lee Fishbones http://portland.metblogs.com/2005/09/29/stranger-etiquette/comment-page-1/#comment-1124 Banana Lee Fishbones Fri, 30 Sep 2005 03:40:27 +0000 http://portland.metblogs.com/2005/09/29/stranger-etiquette/#comment-1124 Well first off Zephyr, bless your heart, but I'm not a teenager. (: I wasn't hoping to get checked out or anything, I just thought a smile back would have been nice. There's a quick return grin and there's "how YOU doin?" if you follow me. Mostly I just really wasn't expecting the scowl. Well first off Zephyr, bless your heart, but I’m not a teenager. (:

I wasn’t hoping to get checked out or anything, I just thought a smile back would have been nice. There’s a quick return grin and there’s “how YOU doin?” if you follow me.

Mostly I just really wasn’t expecting the scowl.

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