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originally uploaded by russ.

First, ya gotta realize this survey is not scientific. Trust me, the average Portland Merc reader is not the typical Portlander. And that atypicality probably extends (I said “extends”) into the bedroom as well.

And people who tend to fill out sex surveys ain’t exactly savin’ it ’til marriage.

That said:

Factoid: Most of the respondents were ages 22-30.

Interpretation: I guess most body-pierced Portland Merc readers wait up until 22 to have sex. Yea, right.

Factoid: Some 17 percent defined themselves as Christians, 3 percent as Jews.

Interpretation: I guess during the height of passion, the other 80 percent either say “oh,Goddess!,”oh,to whom it may concern,” or simply exclaim without divine references.

Factoid: More respondents (52 percent) said they first, well, ya know, ‘twixt 14 and 17.

Interpretation: Loud music and ecstasy?

Factoid: 40% of respondents say they have “never cheated” on their partners.

Interpretation: Define “cheated?”
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originally uploaded by russ.

I ride MAX almost daily. That’s the Washington Park station, the deepest underground train station in North America.

Luv trains and luv MAX but there’s always room for improvement. Here’s what I would change if I had the title,the authority and the budget to do so:

Replace the fare machines. They authorize and print too slow, break down too often, and much too often they want exact change. They suck. Fix ‘em or ship ‘em out.

Enforce the no-smoking ban. Smoking is supposed to be illegal on MAX platforms- but I see the policy violated regularly. Sometimes I see this policy violated in full view of bus drivers who are pulled up to transit centers. Fine the smokers and put the money into health care for the indigent.

Have the train operators start their shift from the first station on the line. The following happens too often. At Elmonica,-site of a transit yard and several stops in from Hillsboro, there’s an operator shift change that takes a couple of minutes. Have the operators just coming on shift ride west from Elmo Yard to Hillsboro and then start their duties from there. Hey,airline pilots deadhead so why can’t MAX drivers?

Put a few luggage racks on the Airport trains. I know there are spaces for luggage, but this would add a touch of class.

Equip every station with GPS-run, electronic, arrival and departure boards. Some have them already but they all oughta. It’s pricey so phase them in.

Equip every station with a restroom.

Equip heavily trafficked stations with a coffee stand or eatery. Some stations have them on premise, others are just a short walk away but there are too many stations without ‘em. Handy,especially in the morning.

Enable cell transmission in the Robertson Tunnel. It’s a three-mile tunnel with no cell avail. Riding west at Goose Hollow I often hear cell yakkers say “we’re headed into the tunnel, I’ll call you back.”

What would you improve about MAX, readers?

It would seem that Multnomah County Chair, our own illustrious Diane Linn, has been accused of making an underling dummy up her calendar so it looked better/busier (hmm, doctoring numbers to look better…would this be considered Enroning her calendar?):

“Dozens, dozens,” Bridges, 37, recalled. Changes to the Microsoft Outlook file included deleting school track meets the single mother attended and adding budget prep meetings that did not take place. Turner confirmed that the meeting and request occurred.

Then, as an added bonus, she (as Jack Bog puts it) mouths off to Theo about attempting to call shenanigans on those making the accusations.

So Linn is calling shenanigans on the grounds for the investigation, and (as Alex mentioned below) Rojo de Steffey is calling shenanigans on the investigation itself? How does this even happen? Are we going to end up as our own bit of the Daily Show, like Mess O’ Potamia and Gaywatch? I can hear the commentary in the back of my head already…

Since Foxworth is on leave, we’re probably going to need to look for a new guy. Since he is very familiar with shenanigans, I suggest Officer Barbrady.

cocks in the henhouse – alberta street fair

Originally uploaded by dieselboi.

we wandered down to the Alberta Street fair this evening with our little pups and had a wonderful walk. the best part of night was the people watching and the live music. we came accross i think 6 different acts ranging from full down home bands like the Cocks in the Henhouse here all the way to a guy with an accordian playing…well, accordian music. he had a few little fans who couldn’t get enough.
Alberta has so much going on these days. almost every block has something under development – for the better in my humble opinion. there were artists, jewelers, painters, performers and cooks. there were young and old alike and everyone had a smile on their face. i loved it and look forward to this spring and summer when the other street fairs come to fruition. weeeeee!

more photos.

Who will conduct an investigation of Multnomah County Chair Diane Linn? You have to wonder after reading today’s WW article.

Linn has been accused of ordering her calendar changed so it looked like she was working when actually she was not.

The DA is bowing out of the matter and has referred it to the state attorney general’s office. But County Commissioner Maria Rojo de Steffey has her doubts about Attorney General Hardy Myers, who is listed as a donor to Linn’s campaign.

From WW:

“I am concerned that Hardy Myers appears prominently on Diane Linn’s support list on her website,” Rojo de Steffey wrote. “Should this issue be referred to an outside district attorney that does not have any affiliation with the Chair?”

What is the constitutional process we will have to follow? Who would do the investigation? How would that person be picked?

The more questions you ask, the more it just reeks like something is rotten in Multnomah County. Does anyone have an idea of the process for choosing an investigating body in such a matter? It seems like we are treading on new territory, here.

It will if Mayor Potter gets his way – he’ll propose tomorrow that the block the soon-to-be-renamed Macy’s sits on should be now known as “”Meier & Frank Square”, according to an Oregonian news update.

Federated Department Stores Inc. plans to rename the store itself “Macy’s at Meier & Frank Square.” The new name will let shoppers identify the store, but will pay tribute to the contributions Meier & Frank made to the community over the decades, Macy’s spokeswoman Kimberly Reason told The Oregonian.

That should make some people here happy, no?

Food Dude picks up WWeek’s web exclusive – Michael Hebberoy is departing ripe, has left PDX ‘indefinitely’, and handed the keys to the kingdom over to soon-to-be-ex-wife Naomi.

This had been long-rumored, of course (even I’d caught wind of it from multiple sources), and inevitably predictable, in an Icarus-flying-too-close-to-the-sun kind of way. From one single mom to another – best of luck, Naomi.

Head over to Portland Food and Drink for the inevitable post-mortem…(or check out my previous post, Ripe – or hype?.

I hear the Anarchist Student Union’s event at Portland Community College’s Cascade campus turned a bit ripe today. First, came the issue about the ASU serving free food from local dumpsters at the music event they were hosting. I am told by a very good source that this is not the first time that the ASU has been called out for “dumpster diving,” and serving the food they harvest from the trash. It’s happened before. And it happened again today. That was the first shocker for me.

Then came the issues about the ASU sign that basically said to fuck off if you are a nationalist. From what I am told, ASU didn’t want to take it down. No surprise. They finally did. Then came the words with the police.

Just another day at PCC. Anarchists, dumpster diving, and political events with tones of radicalism — my, my, are not college campuses awesome? ;-).

get ready for a weekend of activity – brought to you by Amnesty International. They are having their annual general meeting here in Portland over the weekend, beginning Friday April 28-30. If you don’t know Amnesty International, check them out. They are an amazing international oranization who fights for human rights. They even fight for human rights right here in the USA. This weekend’s activities include a schedule of vigils and protests:

Friday – 4pm – protest against GITMO – Pioneer Courthouse Square
Saturday – 7pm – overnight vigil for the Invisible Children Movement’s Global Night Commute – to hightlight the plight of children in war-torn Northern Ugunda. – also in Pioneer Courthouse Square
Sunday – 1:30pm – rally to stop genocide in the Darfur region of Sudan.

Also, on Saturday evening, there is a huge concert at the Roseland featuring the following: Host Mira Sorvino, Collective Soul, Tom Morello of Rage Against the Machine and Audioslave fame, Incubus acoustic, Suzanne Vega, Portand’s own March Forth Marching Band and finally, Youth Movement Records. It looks like it will be a night packed with some amazing voices making noise for human rights.

Just be prepared if heading downtown.

(I’m updating and revisiting a golden oldie from this time last year, ’cause it’s that time of year yet again…)

Last year, we all lamented the spitting epidemic. And we talked about documenting it & outing the spitters themselves. Our own Benkay created a Flickr group (also listed in the comments below):

Flickr is the solution.

http://www.flickr.com/groups/spittoon

Email me or comment here for an invitation to the pool.

Sadly, no one took us up on it. But it’s a new year, and there’s a new crop of bodily fluid expectorators out there. Don’t you think it’s time to take a second look at this?

Here’s what I said last year:
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