Voter intimidation, one voter at a time
I got a phone call at work from a, um, very close personal friend of mine. (The relationship will be made clear as the story unfolds, okay?) “Hi there,” he said. “I’m filling out my ballot right now, and I wanted to ask your opinion. Who should I be voting for, Karen Minnis or Rob Brading?”
At first, I assumed he was pulling my leg. I’ve made my position perfectly clear when we’ve been forced to watch a Minnis commercial, for example - and I’ve not been subtle. But on the off chance he was serious, I felt like I needed to make a Definitive Statement.
“Well, let me make this crystal clear: If you choose to vote for Karen Minnis, well - I’ll be cutting you off. No more, no how, no way.”
From his own, um, definitive reaction, I’m pretty sure that I just scored another vote for Brading as a result…!
Confession- I hadn’t opened my ballot at the time of this phone call. Turns out neither were an option. (Apparently I don’t live *east* enough.)
So let’s see- Saxton for Governer, yes to abortion notification. Schools and libraries? Who needs ‘em? A judge named Leslie? She sounds darling. Term limits for everyone!! And if I didn’t recognize the names? I’d write in Emilie Boyles. I see her name popping up a lot. She must be good…
There, that ought to put a big rusty nail through my love life…
I’ll assume the comment above is a joke, but just in case… Saxton for governor? Yes to parental notification? No to libraries? Why not kill a few puppies while you’re at it, or step on a loved one’s hamster.
Trust me, it’s a joke. Although I’m not quite sure how he feels about puppies and/or hamsters…
Gee, which measure was the puppy one? I need to do more voter research!
Pirate King: It wasn’t an actual ballot measure, it was something Saxton took Ted to task for-he wasn’t beating/killing nearly enough puppies and it’s time for a change in Oregon as a result.
Tell the future *governer* that if he can get the Dropkick Murphys to provide the music, I’ll strap on some Doc Martens’ and and join him for Dog Pound ‘07!
Yes, I’m quite sure you’ll have copious amounts of spare time to hang out with Ronnie, now that your (soon-to-be-ex-) girlfriend’s located her big ol’ honking spare rusty nail *and* the electric nail gun…
OUCH! Point taken…