The scene: Two 15-year-old boys on the MAX train discussing the relative merits of various death-metal bands, most of which I am too old to have heard of– though Nihil was brought up a few times, so they’re apparently the shit, and I definitely heard a reference to Cannibal Corpse. One of the boys reminded me of, well, me in high school– a little overweight, long hair, dorky glasses — though with a bit more of a metal edge to him. And his friend was going on about how some singer was “So Satanic — He’s awesome!” and while he liked death metal, he wasn’t into the whole “pseudo death metal” scene at all.

And as I’m inwardly laughing at the conversation (and the memories it brings back, though think NIN, Guns N Roses, and Metallica), I’m also giving the second dude the once over to determine his true rank in the world of metalhood, and I’d have to give him a 7 out of 10; while the homemade vest with band patches (and a bonus kick-ass Battle Royale patch) won him many points, his tie-died t-shirt, matching tie-died pink Vans and short hair were definite deductions. But the ultimate not-cool was the apparent trombone he was taking to school with him. It’s hard to rock out with the big horn.

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