This weekend I had the good fortune of having to call my bank as a follow-up to a bank charge I got a while back (and got plenty of helpful responses regarding other people’s banks and credit unions from readers, so thank you). This time it was due to the fact that they’re offering new customers the same account I have but with no fees as long as you use online bill pay, whereas for my account, it requires direct deposit to avoid fees. So I figured, naively, “hey, if they’re offering new customers this feature with no fees, surely they’ll give me, a longtime customer that they supposedly want to keep, the same deal they’re offering to a new, potentially crappy, customer.”
But of course, their answer was “that’s for new customers only.” Why is it — and this is a mostly rhetorical question, of course — that only new customers are given the good deals and the sweet enhancements? If I had the time and energy, I could switch back and forth between cable and DSL internet, cable and satellite TV, banks, phone service, etc, every few months, always chasing the best deal.
But as my bank knows, most people don’t have the time or want to put together the major effort it takes to change your life in that fashion. So they gave me the complete runaround, even after I asked to talk to a supervisor and was talked at like I was a mentally challenged 12-year-old who just didn’t get why they couldn’t/wouldn’t help me. Though they did offer to open a new account for me under the new standards and then close my old account — wiping out all my preset bill pay and deposit information — but really, couldn’t we just pretend we did all that and save everybody a bunch of hassle and time and just push the button to make the new standards apply to my old account? I tried to use this tact on the phone and, predictably, failed in a spectacular manner. However, the one thing I did get out of my annoying conversation was an inadvertent explanation of a workaround to avoid the fees that I didn’t realize was applicable. So suck it, banky! No more fees for you.
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