Potty Talk
It’s a fascinating subject I know…really…it seems to come up a lot – so here are my personal observations:
Best Bar Bathroom in Portland: Marathon Taverna – spacious and remarkably clean – if we know we’re headed here later we’ll all ‘hold it.’
Worst Bar Bathroom: The Basement Pub – love the little place, but there’s always standing water on the floor and you just don’t want to touch anything!
Strangest Bar Bathroom: Blaze Jose’s – although I haven’t been there since they dropped the Jose’s – so maybe they also got rid of the dog and cat printed toilet seats – just weird.
Best Bar Bathroom Graffiti – The Know Bar – it’s not just graffiti, it’s art!
Best Bar Bathroom Joke – As seen at the Pub at the End of the Universe – “Who’s the oppisite (sic) of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken!”
(I know – I’m going to hell)
Smallest Bar Bathroom – The Penguin – seriously, you not only have to straddle the toilet to close the door, but then if you do close the door don’t even think of sitting down – you can’t.
Bar Bathroom that really needs a couch – The Vern – ever since the remodel that cleaned this place up, the women’s bathroom could hold almost as many people as the bar itself.
Now – a few of these places are coed bathrooms – but for the places that specify – I have only seen the women’s side of things (except the old Bridgeport that had the gigantic urinals that you could lose a small child in – I can’t believe they got rid of those – they were so cool!) So what have I missed?
The stalls at the Scoreboard women’s room are a good way to meet people. The doors only come as high as your neck, so you get to carry on great conversations with the people waiting in line while you’re zipping up. It’s kind of a tight fit actually getting seated on the toilet seat, especially after a couple of drinks.
they didn’t get rid of the child eating urinals at bridgeport. they moved them upstairs to the men’s restrooms. you can still lose your children at bridgeport.
oh good! Ever since my first time there when my roommate came back and said “you all HAVE to come see these things” – and ALL of us did – we’d make one of the boys ensure the coast was clear so that any females who had not seen them could take a look…they’re pretty crazy.
Have you ever been to the bathroom at the Doug Fir? It’s covered in those godawful crackled gold-and-mirrored wall tiles from the 1970s, and the lighting is really dim. I usually go there for brunch, and I always, ALWAYS bump into a wall trying to get out of the place, and I’m stone cold sober! I’d hate to be there drunk.
I can’t imagine a bar bathroom worse than the men’s room at the Matador on West Burnside. They may have fixed it up since the last time I was in there though. At the time, one stall was blocked off, the other’s toilet was completely torn out. The urinals had to date back a century, didn’t flush and were filled with ice. The smell alone was bad enough to kill a ton-ton.
I once asked to use the restroom at El Grillo, a great, little hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant at SW Ankeny and Broadway. They pointed me at a door that led around a corner to the men’s room. When I came, I did a double-take at the sight of a stark naked woman dancing provocatively about 10 feet away. It turns out that El Grillo shares the restroom with Mary’s Club next door. I have no memory of what the actual restroom was like.
That should be “When I came OUT, I did a double-take at the sight of a stark naked woman dancing provocatively about 10 feet away.” Freudian slip.
Heh – nice slip Steve – that made me laugh!
Brandon – I have heard that the Matador is pretty nasty on the men’s side…the women’s isn’t great, but not as bad as yours!
Mary Sue – I’ve run into the wall a few times at Doug Fir as well…now I try to hold off until we go downstairs!