Bank of America is replacing their ATMs with new fangled machines that don’t require an envelope when depositing checks. You even get a scan of the check on your receipt. Blah blah blah, just give me my money. Well, I was at bright new red ATM in the Congress Center on 5th ave and was ready to take my money and run when the ATM Ambassador approached me wondering about my experience. Yep, they have a guy out there making sure your experience with the new ATM went well. Seriously!

Some questions for the Ambassador: If I were a Wells Fargo customer, could I ask you for asylum? Where is your consulate? Do I need a visa to patronize non B of A ATMs and where would I apply for one? Are you actually part of the B of A intelligence agency in disguise?