Unicycle Bastards

Portland likes to think of itself as a city that attracts the fringe groups who would have a hard time fitting in elsewhere. Some of the more well-known groups like The Society for Creative Anachronisms and people who attend Ren Faires are usually easy to find in wooded areas or public parks. They’re a fairly harmless group who just long for the days of yore.

I found out there’s another group of people lurking around Portland who act and dress like normal grownup humans during the work week, and then turn into nad-crunching crazy people on their time off. I just learned about the Unicycle Bastards, a group of push-it-to-the-limit Unicyclists who get together and play polo at Alberta Park every second Thursday, make films including an upcoming horror film featuring Mad Max type unicyclists versus zombies Dead Alive style, terrorize Portlanders and drink beer to numb the pain.

Bryce Jacobson, Metro’s Construction Recycling Project Manager, and creator of BoneYard NW turned me onto his alter-ego this week. Bryce has been part of the Unicycle Bastards for a while and really enjoys the release after dealing with a somewhat bureacratic job during the week. They meet on a regular basis and have created some films for festivals like Filmed by Bike and are currently working on an entry for the H.P. Lovecraft festival. Next month they’ll be entering the Cross Crusade race at Alpenrose Dairy on October 7th. The race is bad enough for two-wheelers going through the mud and rough terrain, but I know it’s going to be insane for the unicylists. Unicyclists start at 9:55am for their category.

They seem to be a fun group, if their videos tell you anything, and it looks like you can find them all over town playing polo, jumping the stairs at fountains, or falling off logs in Forest Park.

If you happen to be a lonely unicyclist looking for a group of like-minded people you should check out their website and make some new friends. Their website http://www.unicyclebastards.com includes information on rides, events, videos and info on learning how to ride a unicycle. If you’re into watching people injure their manly parts you need to check out “Unicycle Bastards Invade Portland.” Also, if you happen to be an actor who rides a unicycle they are looking for people for their new movie. They are also looking for non-riders to be zombies in the film. I’ll be working on the zombie makeup and gore effects. They’re currently scouting filming locations right now.

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