^[1]Hello Portland Mommies. Now that I have your ear, come a little closer, I have all sorts of things to share. And please, by all means, use the comment section to share your own naughty little secrets.

Here’s this week’s tip, after where to buy bras ^[2], of course. The community centers ^[3] around town have this thing called Indoor Park where, for less than a dollar, your kid can play for a few hours, inside, with all the large plastic toy cars and balls he or she can ride or throw. Many parents use this time to actually play with their children. Some folks use it to read a newspaper, or socialize with other parents.

If you choose to check out Indoor Park, do say hello to me and my hen party. We’re the ones in the corner mixing drinks and rating dads’ asses and we’re always looking for new ladies with hip flasks and sharp eyes to join our circle.