As a musician in a gimmick band ^[1] of my own, I’ve seen and played with some beauts. There’s Portland’s own Fist of Dishonor ^[2], a hugely entertaining band that brings an arena-sized spectacle to a small club near you. There’s the Klingon-metal band Stovokor ^[3] (they’ve dissed us in the past, but I like ‘em anyway). There’s Seattle’s Stay Tuned ^[4], a wonderfully hilarious send-up of 60s, 70s, and 80s television theme songs. I’ve had the joy of meeting the demented librarians from Bloodhag ^[5], who extol the virtues of reading through death metal, pausing only long enough to throw books into the audience. Bloodhag is signed to Jello Biafra’s Alternative Tentacles label, and their CD “Hell Bent for Letters” has some of the most hilariously wonderful artwork I’ve ever seen grace the cover of a music recording.

But the gold medal for best-gimmick ever goes to San Francisco’s “Knights of the New Crusade” – also on Alternative Tentacles, and a band for whom I had the joy of opening for in their hometown a couple of years back. The band plays surf/garage rock while wielding swords in full chain mail, and their lyrical content is reminiscent of the unintentionally hilarious works of Jack Chick ^[6]. And on-stage, they are lethally entertaining. They’ve got chops that kill, a fantastic body of work, and a frontman who has absolutely mastered the art of stage banter.

You can see them tomorrow (along with 29 other bands over the course of the weekend) at the Slabtown Bender ^[7]. They don’t come around that often, and I highly recommend you not miss the chance to see them now.