A lost hamburger review
If you don’t know about PortlandHamburgers, you should check them out. I love me a good hamburger and enjoy telling others about them. Well, the following was a review that didn’t make the cut. I guess they don’t want fast food reviews.
66 grams of FATTY Goodness
I was going to title this “hey person behind the counter, quit picking your zits,” but decided against that because I thought it would be gross. I ventured over to Carl’s Jr today for a tasty bit of burger goodness. I picked me up a Western Bacon Six Dollar burger for $4.99. (Not sure why the price difference and I do mean to contact my congressman about false advertising.) While waiting, I was able to enjoy the ambiance that is Carl’s Jr: the “hacking up a lung” cough coming from the back corner, the couple arguing over fries (yes fries), the woman working the counter picking at her face… Oh, and the smells. Yum!
The burger itself was amazing. I love being able to explicitly taste the salt as if I were sucking on a salt lick. I love that the single slice of American cheese has melted enough to attach to the paper wrapping in a manner that leaves no cheese on the actual burger. I especially love the excessive use of BBQ sauce on both buns so when you bite in, the entire contents between the buns shoots out the back. Ahh, the memories of clean pants.
All in all, the burger was what I paid for. Pretty salty and messy, but what should I expect from fast food. ….uh oh, need to visit the little buckaroos room….
Carl’s Jr.
508 SW Taylor
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I had a similar encounter a few years back, and haven’t returned. Mostly because of the gauntlet of pitbulls and pierced-head types sprawled around the front door. Maybe they got a job for the winter, and have moved inside?
In related news, I’ve been hearing good things about the burgers at Buffalo Hot Wings on 4th. Haven’t been yet, but rumors abound. Might be worth a shot.
I’ll bet they cost over six dollars, so your congressman can relax…
I love the double western! I lose a little bit of my soul when I eat one, but I still manage to eat three or four a year. I wonder how many hours of your life you lose when you eat one, you know, like cigarettes? The Carl’s Jr. downtown scares me but it’s a worth a drive to get one and some deep friend zucchini. Great, now I’m hungry…let’s go grab a burger sometime!
Few fast-food joints dare to top this monstrous-atrocity. If I’m on the cheap I’ll order the onion rings and a Super Star w/ cheese and create my own (avoiding much of the slick mess detailed above). The best shocking-horror apart from BK’s Pick Your Death Toll dial-a-patty feat is the Baconnator from Wendy’s. THAT is unbridled fast-food joy right there.
I wonder why they rejected a retarded burger review from a fast food joint…