You know I love to see some farm animals on the streets of Portland. Today I was in NW and though I don’t think 23rd has the same farm-animal-to-human ratio as St. John’s, I did manage to find a few specimens. I spotted this horse outside Laurelwood. It was perky and standing upright. Not how I like to find myself after an hour at Laurelwood, but horses, especially tiny wooden ones, shouldn’t consume too much alcohol.

This horse was near the Kiehl’s store. BTW: Kiehl’s has new lip gloss that is so cute. It’s a little too gloppy but still cute. Oh yeah, the horse. It’s big. Full-size. But it’s painted in this sort of carnival meets NASCAR theme that I’m not loving. It also has a prissy little sign that says it loves to be petted, but not ridden. Yeah, explain that to a two-year-old.

Here’s the pig. I don’t know about these things. I hate the way they’re chained up. Reminds me of when I was the PR person for a major circus and I had to tell the media that the stars branded on the elephants’ hind quarters were totally painless and just, like, there. I also had to arrive at the San Diego Sports Arena at 3:30 am to coordinate the morning media hits. One reporter showed up two hours late and drunk. You tell this to some pissed off trapeze artists. You think I’m joking that I did PR for the circus. I’m not. I was also a bartender and a bookseller and a college professor. Not at the same time. But the pigs. Well, they make me sad. This one seems constipated.

This horse seemed out of place in NW. It was a little downtrodden, and dare I say it, lame. Someone had put it out of its misery, and that yellow line reminds of a chalk outline. But I felt bad for it and wished someone would find a new small plastic horse to take its place. Who’s in charge of these things anyway? I felt like a sicko kneeling there on the wet sidewalk taking this picture. But as people passed, I shouted, “I’m Metroblogging, okay?” And they backed the fuck off. I’m tough like that.

Anyone else have farm animals I need to post about?