So I made a list…

1) If you mail in a guilty plea, the fine is around $98 bucks and the charge goes on your record.

2) If pay the fine on, or after your court date, the fine is around $250, and the charge also goes on your record. (It was explained the jump in the fee was due to “court costs.”)

3) If you decide to go to court, DO NOT take anything you would not be allowed to carry on an airplane! I was late for my court date by thirty minutes because I had no idea that the courthouse was locked down tighter than an airport. I had to keep making trips to and from a friend’s office across town just to leave behind my suspicious pen knife, lighter, and utility tool.

4) If you are late on your appointed court date, oddly enough it’s OK. I was thirty minutes late thanks to a security guard who not just loves his job but is in love with his job, and they still let me in the courtroom.

5) If you DO NOT WANT TO PAY the fine, AND YOU DO NOT WANT THE CHARGE ON YOUR RECORD, you have options! You can take ONE DAY of community service, or take an offer to be provided a court-sanctioned social service, such as help with an addiction. Completing either of these options expunges the charge from your record.

6) If you opt for community service, you are given a return court date about a month away. Before you leave the courtroom, you must schedule your day of community service to fall before your return court date.

7) You cannot pick your type of community service. It has to be “court-sanctioned.” Upon leaving the courtroom, you are given a sheet of paper that provides a map, a time, and a meeting place, as well as the disclaimer that you will have to be ready to work outside and that rain gear will not be provided.

I just completed my day of community service yesterday. It consisted of a small group of fellow perpetrators trolling all over downtown in reflective orange vests picking up an endless scattering of cigarette butts with long-arm grabbers. I actually enjoyed it - partly for the fact that the sun came out to join us, but also because mastering the art of the grabber on something as tricky as a cigarette butt helped make the time fly by.

If you are riding the MAX this Saturday (Jan 12th) through fareless square, you just might find yourself crammed next to a group of people who are not wearing any pants!

When I read about this event in the Willamette Week today, I immediately asked myself, “Why would you want to ride the MAX with no pants on…and in January?” Apparently there is no purpose at all. Instead, this is the first effort to extend the annual No Pants! Subway Rides that take place in New York to other cities that have mass transit. In addition to New York and Portland, Boston, Washington DC, San Francisco, Chicago, Toronto, Adelaide (Australia), Baltimore, and Salt Lake City are also staging the same event this weekend.

If you actually want to take off your pants and go for a ride, you must be willing to follow this set of rules.
1) Be willing to take pants off on the MAX
2) You MUST wear some form of underwear
3) Be able to keep a straight face about it

It all starts at 4:30pm at the Loyd Center MAX station.

More info:
Willamette Week 1
Wilamette Week 2
www.improveverywhere.com

This “project,” brings up the all to familiar questions within relationships. “How long will the relationship last?” “What makes a relationship last at all?” “How did it start?” “How will it end?”

The other wonderful thing about this movie is that it started on the internet, and is ending up on the big screen. Not through a major movie distributor, but through the people who watched the movie and wanted to share it by setting up a screening in their city, or just by sending the link to a their friends.

After visiting their website, I realized that the film had been out since 2006. Before I decided to post about it here, I searched Metroblogging for any previous posts on it, but did not find any posts about it. I then searched the web and found that it has gotten quite the buzz since its release. As I began posting about it, this is when I started to ask myself, “Was the website, the subsequent blogs and profiles, all just created as an ingenious promotional tool?” “Is this some new form of clever advertising voo-doo which makes us believe a television reality?”

Either way, I enjoyed it, and I wanted to share it.

Despite owning a car, I’m glad I can spend an extra $5 dollars on new plates toward keeping me safer on the road as a bicyclist. This new plate shares it’s cost with the Bicycle Transportation Alliance and Cycle Oregon. I know it’s only a little bit of support, but every little bit can help.

For a complete list of Oregon license plates, and how you can get one too, even if you have a license plate already, check out the oregon.gov website.

I thought this was quite an interesting take on Christmas parties happening here in Portland this year. A “Jewish” Christmas party complete with Chinese food!? What? Sounds like a wild night. It is brought to you by HEEB Magazine, The Jewish Federation of Greater Portland, and the Ace Hotel. Here’s a short list of some of the things happening this Monday. Portland’s own rock poster designer Mike King is offering a limited edition print for the occasion. The Ace Hotel is offering party-stay at the hotel combo deals, and a who’s who of Portland DJ’s will be keeping the party going till Santa starts to head home.

Read on to see the details…

Ace Hotel Portland, HEEB Magazine, & Young Jews on The Come Up Present..
The First Annual HEEBONISM

Monday December 24th, 2007 @ ACE HOTEL PORTLAND

Hey! Christmas doesn’t have to suck for Jews or the rest of the heathen masses. “Everyone loves friends, food and good times, I’m tired of being bored on Christmas!” says organizer Ryan Bukstein. So here is the idea…

Those who represent for the chosen people and the people who love them are all invited to join in this feast and celebration that takes the best parts of the holidays and leaves ceremony and tradition at the door.

Come down to the Ace Hotel Cleaners for a delicious Chinese take out dinner starting at 6:30pm, and continue the evening with a full cash bar featuring special Maneshevitz cocktails, ping pong, and vintage video games. Some of Portland’s most talented DJ’s rotating around the decks: DJ Hanukkah Miracle, HR Paperstacks, DJ Solomon, Never Forget & DJ Safi. The night promises to be memorable…

If you have obligations for the early part of the evening, please join us for the get down, party portion of the evening and at any time you can retire to your room at the Ace Hotel, only to rejoin the party at your leisure. World famous rock poster designer Mike King will produce a one of a kind, limited edition print for the event, a real collectors item for our hotel and dinner guests. But the good Jew-ness doesn’t stop there; With our generous sponsorship from Ace Hotel and The Jewish Federation of Greater Portland handling most of our production costs, all proceeds from the event will be donated to The Oregon Jewish Museum, www.ojm.org.

There are multiple tiers of engagement:
Hotel stay, dinner, and party $100
Dinner and party $20
Party only $5

So if you feel left out on Christmas, don’t celebrate it, or want something to do after all the family fanfare,
this is the event for you. Bring your Gentiles!

RSVP for the dinner as space is limited, please email jac@acehotel.com.
Ace Hotel Portland - 1022 SW Stark
Check in 4pm. Dinner 6:30-7:30pm. Party 9pm - 1am.
This event is 21+

Even though my neighborhood Value Village closed its doors early this month, I must still shed a tear or two. Soon after Halloween, I was on one of my weekly trips to “the Village,” only this time, my excitement for foraging through discarded treasures was replaced by shock. All the shelves were removed, and the remaining inventory was piled into the center of the store. I immediately asked one of the employees what was going on, and was sadly informed that the store was closing its doors due to the fact that the current lease had expired, and the landlord was demanding a huge increase in the rent upon renewal. Since Value Village could not afford the new lease, they had to close shop, which unfortunately also meant that all employees were out of a job as well.

When I moved to Hollywood this past summer, I was looking forward to slow paced, pedestrian friendly, little white-haired lady vibe that this part of Portland had to offer. Value Village and the Farmer’s Market that used their parking lot was all a part of that friendly neighborhood vibe. I continually hear stories of how Portland was a completely different place just 5 years ago…cheaper in rent, no Pearl, etc. I have heard the horror stories that followed in the wake of building the Whole Foods downtown. Now that Hollywood is getting its own Whole Foods too, in a matter of just a few short months I am starting to see this same horror for myself. It is already flabbergasting to see the effects that the recent “Rock N’ Roll Cafe” has caused since it’s opening in combination with the new Trader Joe’s location. Car traffic has increased, and where I once had free parking around my little apartment complex, I am now suddenly threatened to be towed. Oh yeah…and we have a Panera now too!? I never thought I would feel over-run this soon!!! I thought I was moving away from all this madness when I got out of Texas!?

Now with construction underway of the next Portland Whole Foods just a couple blocks away, the building owners in Hollywood are seeing their early retirements, while their tenants are beginning to get their moving supplies ready. It’s sad really. Where are these building owners going to retire to when they plop a Whole Foods down in the one area of town where a lot of the retired people live? Ok, that’s not the saddest part…what’s the most sad is that “Grocery Outlet” is moving into Value Village’s previous location.

That’s Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods, and Grocery Outlet all within a block or so from each other!

And I thought Portland boasted itself as a model for city planning?