There are two things about this story that I find kind of disturbing. I think it’s just a little creepy to have a younger guy like that around 300 teenage girls wearing short skirts and doing a lot of handstands and splits. It just seems like shooting fish in a barrel as far as him eventually hooking up with one of the more adventurous cheerleaders. I’m not saying they’re all looking to get laid, but for god’s sake at least be a little realistic.

The other thing is his last name, “Finger.” How many double entendres can you come up with for this one? My first one was “Guess who got caught with his finger in the pie?” sort of Ted Casablanca style. His name just adds to the creep factor of the whole situation.

I challenge all of you to come up with your best snark on this loser.

There’s an event coming up on Saturday, October 20th at the Central Library that will hopefully dispell some of the bad vibes about Portland and it’s weirdos. The Library Foundation is sponsoring “Keep Portland Weird! A Community Festival.” It’s an opportunity to meet some of the more unusual organizations in town, and also learn things like how to play the ukulele and how to do yoga. There’s also free entertainment including belly dancing and a performance by Sneakin’ Out. I wanted to post this early to make sure people include it in their October plans which can get kind of busy with so many Fall things going on.

Some of the groups attending include SCRAP, the Portland Robotics Society, Free Geek, City Repair, the Portland Cacophony Society, Growing Garden’s Chicken Keepers, the Portland Ukulele Society, and the Urban Berbers. The event runs from 12:00pm – 4:00pm and is free and open to the public.

Go to the Multnomah County Library’s website to find out who else is going to be there. I am looking forward to meeting the Cacophony Society folks because I have promised myself I would join in on their Santa event and help confuse shoppers doing their Christmas thing this year.

Thanks Stephanie Miller for the heads-up.

The Rejection Hotline has now given the people of Portland a new tool in dealing with those situations. They’ve added an Oregon number to their list, 503-207-0299. The hotline is a number you give to someone you really don’t want to hear from again, as your own number. When they call they get a recorded message that explains possible reasons why you didn’t want to give out your real number. It’s actually pretty funny, and shows that you have at least made an effort instead of just writing down some random ficticious number. This of course should only be used as a last ditch effort if all else fails, or if the person immediately gives off a creepy stalker kind of vibe. Good luck out there!

I read an article in the Wall Street Journal today on some of the potential problems lower back tattoos, i.e. “tramp stamps” could pose for pregnant women during childbirth. There’s been an ongoing debate that lower back tattoos can pose problems when an epidural is performed, piercing through the tattoo on the way towards the spinal column. There have been stories of inflammation or nerve damage caused by the needle pulling dyed skin with it, possibly releasing small particles containing metals or other toxic compounds. There are already reports of patients suffering from burns and swelling during MRI procedures due to metal fibers such as iron oxide in the tattoo ink. In fact some radiologists are refusing to perform scans on patients who have tattoos.

Portland being a pretty inked city, as recently discussed, made me think about all the younger women who have stamps and who may actually end up pregnant, whether by choice or Ecstasy. I went to Snopes to check out whether this was just another Urban Myth or if there was some truth to the story. The current status is “undetermined.” Some people have had reactions like burning, swelling and tenderness where the epidural catheter had been placed. Others were fine. The overall conclusion was to have the anesthesiologists avoid the tattoo if possible during the procedure. The other option is to skip the bullseye and just get a nice unicorn on your hip that matches the color of your thong.

The photo came from the Urban Dictionary http://www.urbandictionary.com which has some other interesting definitions of a tramp stamp. I really like the term “ass antlers.” I hadn’t heard that one before.

I found out there’s another group of people lurking around Portland who act and dress like normal grownup humans during the work week, and then turn into nad-crunching crazy people on their time off. I just learned about the Unicycle Bastards, a group of push-it-to-the-limit Unicyclists who get together and play polo at Alberta Park every second Thursday, make films including an upcoming horror film featuring Mad Max type unicyclists versus zombies Dead Alive style, terrorize Portlanders and drink beer to numb the pain.

Bryce Jacobson, Metro’s Construction Recycling Project Manager, and creator of BoneYard NW turned me onto his alter-ego this week. Bryce has been part of the Unicycle Bastards for a while and really enjoys the release after dealing with a somewhat bureacratic job during the week. They meet on a regular basis and have created some films for festivals like Filmed by Bike and are currently working on an entry for the H.P. Lovecraft festival. Next month they’ll be entering the Cross Crusade race at Alpenrose Dairy on October 7th. The race is bad enough for two-wheelers going through the mud and rough terrain, but I know it’s going to be insane for the unicylists. Unicyclists start at 9:55am for their category.

They seem to be a fun group, if their videos tell you anything, and it looks like you can find them all over town playing polo, jumping the stairs at fountains, or falling off logs in Forest Park.

If you happen to be a lonely unicyclist looking for a group of like-minded people you should check out their website and make some new friends. Their website http://www.unicyclebastards.com includes information on rides, events, videos and info on learning how to ride a unicycle. If you’re into watching people injure their manly parts you need to check out “Unicycle Bastards Invade Portland.” Also, if you happen to be an actor who rides a unicycle they are looking for people for their new movie. They are also looking for non-riders to be zombies in the film. I’ll be working on the zombie makeup and gore effects. They’re currently scouting filming locations right now.

It sounds like a bunch of damn hippies, but it’s a combination of hippy-esque sensibilities mixed in with energy and money saving ideas for homeowners who would prefer redesigning their space as opposed to moving elsewhere or building new. There are a couple of new homes and even two high-rise residential condominiums, a new addition this year. I guess those are the sell-outs?

The tour runs from 11:00am – 5:00pm on Saturday, which means realistically you’ll be lucky to hit five to seven homes. Last year 500 people attended the tour, so the crowds can get thick and possibly require a wait to get into some of the homes. Arciform’s 1899 House in the North Mississippi neighborhood will be jammed for sure. The tour coordinators encourage biking and carpooling as parking can be a pain.

After the tour a free Information Fair will be held in the parking lot at the Environmental Building Supplies showroom on 819 SE Taylor St. by the post office. They’ll have contractors, vendors, suppliers, free refreshments and live music available for tour attendees and the general public. The fair will run from 4:30pm – 7:00pm.

The tour is actually a lot of fun and an opportunity to snoop around people’s homes and get some ideas for your own projects. From my experience everyone is really friendly and helpful and are great about answering questions or explaining some of the barriers they’ve run across in the remodeling process. Tickets are $15 for adults, and $10 if you’re carfree (not carefree which you may by but it doesn’t count), a student or a senior. You can purchase tickets and get more information and a sneak peek at the homes at http://portlandonline.com/osd. You can also purchase tickets at Environmental Building Supplies, open from 9:00 – 5:30 during the week, and 10:00 – 4:00 on Saturday. They suggest not waiting until the day of because it’s completely crazy and will cut into your small window of time to tour the homes.

I saw this awesome truck parked over on Clinton Street. You can’t really see it in this picture but the side of the truck had Pink Slip Bush bumper stickers covering the bottom edge.

From Code Pink’s website their mission statement is as follows:

CODEPINK is a women-initiated grassroots peace and social justice movement working to end the war in Iraq, stop new wars, and redirect our resources into healthcare, education and other life-affirming activities. We reject the Bush administration’s fear-based politics that justify violence, and instead calls for policies based on compassion, kindness and a commitment to international law. With an emphasis on joy and humor, CODEPINK women and men seek to activate, amplify and inspire a community of peacemakers through creative campaigns and a commitment to non-violence.

I’m not sure if they were or are doing a rally in Portland, but you can check out their incredible website to see what they’ve been up to http://www.codepink4peace.org.

I really need one of those bumper stickers.

I have discovered the Portland Habitat ReStore over on SE Water Avenue in the building that used to house Norwestern Brewery. They have a constantly changing inventory of paint, nails, stain, tiles, cement, lighting and anything else you can think of. The gallons of paint are only $5.00, and cans of spraypaint are $.50. I really like the ReBuilding Center but ReStore’s pricing is cheaper, and they carry more art supply type things. Plus part of their proceeds go towards Habitat for Humanity so that’s kind of cool even if I’m not neccesarily dropping a bucketload of cash.

Besides SCRAP (School and Community Reuse Action Project) are there other good places in town to find cheap materials and supplies for sculpting and painting? I absolutely hate paying through the nose at Art Media, and the people at Columbia Art & Drafting Supply have been kind of jerks when I’ve been there in the past. If I’m going to dump a good chunk of change on an airbrush I want to be able to look at the selection and don’t need some sulky counter person sighing because I don’t want to buy the most expensive one that they insist is the best. My friend G did suprise me with the one I wanted for Christmas. He was there at the counter with me trying to keep his mouth shut while emo-girl sulked and showed us the airbrushes.

I know Portland is a big crafters town so if any of you have some good leads point me in the right direction. The ReStore is at 66 SE Morrison St. and Water Ave and is open from 9:00 – 5:00 Tuesday through Saturday. SCRAP is located at 3910A N. Williams and are open from 11:00am – 6:00pm Wednesday through Saturday and 12:00pm – 5:00pm on Sunday. Both stores are a lot of fun to go dig through and ReStore is pretty flexible with their pricing.

I don’t mean to double up on the same topic but I also have to say that I was really impressed with the event Brian from KATU organized. I thought it was really cool that he was trying to bridge the gap between traditional journalism/media and the “bloggers.” I was a little apprehensive going into this event because I figured they were luring us into a situation were they would round up all the bloggers and give us tainted Kool Aid. Scott Moore from the Mercury was being proactive about the situation and decided to just off himself ahead of time. It actually turned out great and it was nice to finally put some faces to the blogs. We got free drinks and a great spread, and KATU let us play on the set with only a little bit of adult supervision. It was really fun and the SWAG bags were awesome.

Thanks Brian and all the folks at KATU! Other stations take note.

We’ve sort of picked a “Last Days of Summer” theme this week so here’s my contribution. For me the last days of summer kick me in the butt to start getting some work done for Fright Town. I have been dragging my feet all summer and only have one corpse done with the other skeleton hanging in the back ready to become rotten.

Now that it’s starting to get chilly at night, the light is shifting, and the leaves are changing color, I start to get motivated. I guess I’m still on the school schedule, whether it was college or my son being on summer break, where summer is sort of your slacker time. It seems sort of silly to be sitting inside sculpting when it’s gorgeous outside and there’s so many other things going on. Plus it’s Portland, so you have to grab the opportunity to enjoy the brief window of nice weather we get for a couple of months.

I am really looking forward to another Fall in Portland. This town was made for the season, especially with all the old trees lining the streets. I love driving down McLoughlin Boulevard by Eastmoreland when the leaves have changed color and the wind is blowing them all around. It get’s me psyched to make things to scare people. I can’t help it, I’m a horror and Halloween uber-nerd. So this Labor Day weekend is time to get my art supplies organized, clean out my airbrush, and start on the projects who’ve been staring at me all summer. I like the nice weather but I really like the rain and the smell of decaying leaves much better. I guess that’s why I live here.