My Political Rant

Metblogs can get a bit political. I have yet to take a firm public stance on the day’s issues. But today, walking through downtown, past Nordstrom, changed all of that. I passed this window and realized, I have a mission. I have a cause. I have a cause the good people of Portland need to get behind.

Here it is: we must eliminate the sneaker-pump.

How many more times in my life must I witness such a plain abuse of two perfectly useful shoes? The sneaker, well yeah. But the pump? I’m not one to don these particular shoes, but Dr. Maria Cerruto, Italian urologist, has found that heels may improve a lady’s sex life. Would I like to run a marathon and have better sex, who wouldn’t? But not all at once, people.

Who’s with me? Who’s willing to start making banners and pins and dedicating blogs to the eradication of the sneaker-pump?

It starts with just one.

7 Comments so far

  1. dieselboi (unregistered) on February 6th, 2008 @ 5:14 pm

    Do you have a flag?

    You need a slogan. Something witty. Let’s make t-shirts!

  2. Kai Jones (unregistered) on February 6th, 2008 @ 5:31 pm

    My only objection to your proposal is the illustration: there is no sneaker pump in that picture. Those are wedge-soled sneakers.

  3. Matt (unregistered) on February 6th, 2008 @ 6:06 pm

    I am completely shoe-ignorant: What makes a particular shoe a pump? Is it just having a high heel?

  4. melissa lion (unregistered) on February 6th, 2008 @ 7:04 pm

    Matt, Kai Jones is right, those are wedges. Pumps have high heels. My apologies, but you have to understand how sneaker-pumps haunt me and any sort of elevated sneakers make me a little mental.

    Slogan. Hmm, God hates sneaker-pumps? What about If sneakers were meant to be pumps, god wouldn’t have made basketball players so tall?

    I don’t know. I’m bad with this stuff.

  5. Pete Best (unregistered) on February 7th, 2008 @ 9:25 am

    Sneaker pumps make weaker rumps.

  6. Ms. Blake (unregistered) on February 7th, 2008 @ 10:05 am

    If you add those hideous Timberline boot pumps to your platform then I’m on board!

  7. melissa lion (unregistered) on February 7th, 2008 @ 9:08 pm

    You know, Ms. Blake, I was going to mention cowboy boot pumps, but I thought, maybe, like beetlejuice, if I said it, they’d return. You had to say it three times, so I’ll add your request to my platform, but I won’t say the name. If you could keep mum too, I’d be obliged.

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