The Cheques are in the Mail

Here’s another reason to paint your walls white, tear your phone wires out, cover your windows in hefty bags and just sit there rocking quietly and mumbling to yourself: the Nigerian Email Scam has gone retro and now they’re hitting up our snail mailboxes. Will those crafty Nigerians stop at nothing to trick people into sending them thousands of dollars under the guise of returning the money plus 1000% interest because their uncle is a deposed third-world dictator and if only we could hand over our credit card info, he’d be out and creating world peace and sending us all pure gold Priuses and Lear jets lined with baby elephant hide? has the story about a Portland woman who got a box full of $500 travelers cheques (yes KATU is using the European spelling). Turns out the cheques were forgeries! I know, right? The woman didn’t cash them.

Moral of the story: From now on, always check the boxes of $500 cheques that come in the mail. No more of this lackadaisical cheque cashing for Portland.

Between this and heightened airport security, I’m never going to get anything done.

My favourite line from the storey: “‘Money doesn’t fall out of the sky, or come by DHS, UPS or by mail,’ a police investigator told KATU.”

I’m pretty sure I’ve seen it growing on trees, though. Send me ten bucks and I’ll tell you where.

3 Comments so far

  1. Tom C. (unregistered) on February 21st, 2008 @ 4:07 pm

    We all already know that KATU is the pinnacle of unnecessary and needless Portland news…

  2. Mike (unregistered) on February 21st, 2008 @ 10:10 pm

    Well written, this made me lol. I agree with Tom C tho: I was almost lamenting the lack of snow and ice this winter, as nothing make me giggle more than watching KATU on-the-scene "reporters" showing us exactly what "ice" looks like on the ground close up.

  3. Dodge Ram (unregistered) on February 21st, 2008 @ 11:41 pm

    It might just be my paranoia kicking in but if I got a "package" from some one that I don’t know or don’t know the address I’d call the cops and leave it on the porch "bomb,drugs,anthrax" what have you. Isn’t that what we are supposed to do sense 9/11/01? Just asking.

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